Matsu Her-O Saves Christmas
by MatsuHerO
Summary: Matsu Her-O is called upon to save Santa Claus, but can he do it while also completing Santa's rounds for the night? Yes, because he's smart enough to send a team to do half of it.


Matsu Her-O sat in his study/gym, pensively working out his triceps in preparation for a confrontation with the mysterious stranger who had fought him to a standstill. He had been in there for weeks so his already tight body was even buffer and he knew that once he stepped out of his room all the women on the ship would swoon and possibly faint at the new level of attractiveness he had obtained. It would have to be done at some point soon since the Fictosphere was still in danger and he was its sole hero.  
As he did his thousandth rep that hour Matsa She-Ro contacted him with some disturbing news: "Matsu Her-O! It would appear that someone has decided to kidnap every single Santa Claus and other holiday figure! We need you to save Christmas!"  
Matsu looked at his calendar. It was already Christmas Eve and even he couldn't save Santa Claus in time. He knew there was only one solution. "Matsa, I'll do it! I'll be Santa Claus for the entire Fictosphere!"  
Matsa manifested herself in his study/gym and it was testament to her power that she simply fanned herself instead of fainting dead away at Matsu's stronger more handsome form. She asked, "What about actual Santa?"  
"Send Jon, Ness, Ethan Crane, the Schmidt Brothers, and I don't know, Darth Vader or something to go save Santa. Maybe Matsu Ro-Bo? I'll be taking Pokemaster Terrapin with me because I'll need our beasts to pull my sleigh," commanded Matsu.  
He had a Christmas to save.

Raven was sitting in the middle of the cafeteria and lamenting the fact that the food was pizza rolls, as it had been every day since she had gotten there. She was also lamenting the fact that Jason Voorhees was sitting on one side of the cafeteria and Rose the Hat was on the other. Both were staring at her with hungry intent and it wasn't as if she hadn't rebuffed their violent advances a number of times already and it was stressing her out immensely. She feared she might lose control and let loose her demonic side soon if something wasn't done.  
To her chagrin, Pokemaster Terrapin sat down across from her. It was obvious that he wanted something from her, too, though she wasn't sure what exactly that something was. She initially thought he harbored some romantic sentiment towards her, but he might also simply want her to cast some spell that allowed him better control over the beasts Matsu kept making him obtain. Earlier that day, he had been sent to obtain a velociraptor and then a deinonychus when Matsu discovered that the actual velociraptor was roughly the size of a chicken. Raven also felt that Terrapin meant well, so she would put up with the bruised and battered man for now.  
"Hey Raven," said Terrapin, looking past her at Rose the Hat. "Is Rose the Hat giving you trouble? You want me to talk to Rose for you?"  
Raven opened her mouth to speak but it was too later: Terrapin was already on the move. She watched him walk over to Rose's table and completely fall apart once he got over there and she almost felt bad for him, but not quite. He was walking back over when Matsu, looking swole, entered the cafeteria. It was all she could do to control herself, and she could see that Rose the Hat was similarly smitten. Matsu walked over to Terrapin and the pair walked out of the cafeteria, leaving Raven alone with her tormentors.

Jon Her-O and Ness stood before their charges. Their father had claimed these were the best of his team, but Jon had his doubts. Ness disagreed and seemed to think they were okay, but Jon had read the files about Ness's adventure and knew the type of person he traveled with and didn't trust his brother's judgement in this instance.  
"Ethan Crane, I'm assuming my father sent you on this mission due to your knowledge of this Santa Claus," said Jon Her-O to the couch potato vampire.  
"I suppose," replied Ethan, holding a phone and watching something on it. "I have seen every execrable Christmas and other holiday special. So what are we dealing with?"  
"All the Santas have been kidnapped, along with other holiday figures."  
"It's probably Sailor Moon then," said Ethan. "Or I suppose the Neo Crystal Empress or whatever we're calling her now since she's our enemy and whoever the enemy is typically the one that tries to ruin everything. Why can't Matsu just jump there and solve the problem like he does with everything else? In fact, he'll probably just pop in at the end of this and save the day like he always does so I don't know why he needs us for this."  
"My father will be busy with the Pokemaster delivering the gifts," replied Jon. "The Schmidt Brothers are no doubt here for their combat capabilities. Darth Vader must be here due to his adventures on Hoth?"  
"I'm also a powerful force-user, and skilled in flight and combat," said Vader.  
"Good to know. And Matsu Ro-Bo? Why are you here?"  
"You'll need someone infused with the power of the Her-O to help," said Ro-Bo.  
"My brother and I are heirs to his power, automaton," countered Jon. "We have his power naturally. You're simply an automaton."  
"I'm far more than that. Now are we going to do this?"  
Jon narrowed his eyes. "This is far from over, Ro-Bo."

Terrapin sat next to Matsu in his sleigh and was rather confused about what was going on, even though it had been explained in detail to him a number of times. They were flying through the sky of some world that celebrated Christmas. Matsu was using his power to give each and every person on the world a gift they'd like if they were nice and coal or the local equivalent if they were naughty. Terrapin's job was to fly the sleigh and this was where he became confused. Traditionally, the sleigh was pulled by nine reindeer. In this case, it was Terrapin's Shuckle, Gamera, Jon Snow's Ghost, and two dinosaurs. Only Gamera was actually flying, spinning around as per usual, swinging the sleigh around as he did so. Terrapin was actually surprised none of them had died.  
"How much longer do we have to do this," said Terrapin, his knuckles white from holding on for dear life. "Please tell me it's almost over."  
"We have hundreds of worlds to go but it's okay, I stopped time," said Matsu. "By the way, when we're done delivering gifts we need to go down there and eat cookies or whatever. Well, I do. You have to keep the sleigh flying."  
"I don't even get cookies," said Terrapin, to no one, since Matsu had already vanished to eat the cookies.

The team landed in Neo Crystal Tokyo which was on the moon and were immediately confronted by the man who had fought Matsu to a standstill, flanked by a number of lesser Senshi and elder gods. Jon reached for his sword while his brother readied his bat and psychic powers. Ro-Bo aimed his arm cannon, and Jon was eager to see how the pretender fought. Behind them, Ethan could hardly be bothered to give this threat any attention while the Schmidt Brothers were ready for battle. Darth Vader, too, was flexing the fingers of one hand while his lightsaber flared to life in the other.  
"We were expecting you," said the man, and he stepped into the light. Jon Her-O gasped, for this man was the mirror image of his father! "Come. We have much to discuss, but where's your father? We were hoping to broker a peace with him."  
This caught Ethan's attention. "Broker a peace? With the likes of you? Unlikely! Attack!"  
That was all the assemblage needed, and while Matsu's mirror shook his head and vanished like a coward the Senshi and Shoggothians ran forth and were slaughtered by the score.

They had been to hundreds of worlds and delivered thousands of gifts and Terrapin was glad that he hadn't vomited yet, but the night was still young and would always be young. Time was stopped, after all, and he couldn't tell if it had been days or years or even centuries. He was in a fresh version of Hell and there was no end in sight. Matsu, for his part, seemed to be having fun and had one point donned a Santa-themed version of his suit. He had also made Terrapin wear an elf costume, but some wires had gotten crossed and so Terrapin was dressed like someone named Legolas. He didn't want to ask how Matsu had gotten them.  
Matsu stopped flinging presents at the world and looked towards the sky. "We've delivered all the presents! All the presents for Christmas, Kwanzaa, Hanukah, and every other holiday!"  
"I don't know what most of those are. My world only had Christmas," said Terrapin.  
"That doesn't matter. We're needed elsewhere," said Matsu.

The team had fought their way to the Neo Crystal Empress who was sitting on her throne. She had a young lady next to them and Jon realized this was his father's beloved, Katie, the whole reason he had started this quest. The mirror Matsu was next to her with various villains from across the Fictosphere standing nearby. The Neo Crystal Empress stood up and bowed to Jon and his team.  
"The sons of Her-O and some of his most trusted lieutenants. I'm sorry that you slaughtered my entire army but I'm glad you were unharmed. I have come to announce that my top lieutenant has requested that your father stop your quest to stop me, for I surrender and will give back his Katie," said Sailor Moon.  
Jon was about to say something when a bright flash of light hit the ground, knocking the assembled evil force back. It was Matsu Her-O, and with him were Terrapin, Shuckle, Gamera, Ghost, and two dinosaurs.  
"Stay," commanded Terrapin weakly. The beasts did as they were told, much to everyone's surprise.  
"I told you," muttered Ethan.  
"Neo Crystal Empress! We won't stand for your lies," said Matsu.  
"Oh no," said the Neo Crystal Empress as she tried to avert her eyes. "You're too handsome!"  
She collapsed, and Matsu saw that Katie, his beloved, did the same. He turned to his doppelganger and said, "Whoever you are, and I will find out, tell your bitch queen this: Matsu Her-O doesn't negotiate, and I'll save the Fictosphere and my beloved my own way!"  
"We're offering you a chance to stop all of this," begged his doppelganger. "No more fighting! No more destruction of worlds that I have to fix! You left the Star Trek universe in shambles and I had to go fix it! You killed Emperor Palpatine twice and I keep having to go revive him to stop the timeline from screwing up! Do you know how many comic strips I had to fix because of you?"  
Terrapin asked, "Did my world get messed up because I left?"  
"No, not really, but he didn't pluck you out in the midst of your story," said the doppelganger. "Please, Matsu Her-O, live up to your name and be a hero by just letting us surrender! We won't do anything else! You can go back home and live our your life and let all these people go home!"  
"Never," said Matsu. "Your evil reign must be stopped and I will not rest until you and your leader are punished!"  
The doppelganger stood there, his mouth agape. He shook his head, snapped his fingers, and suddenly Matsu and his team were back on the Armageddon Zebra, safe and sound. Jon asked his father, "Why didn't you accept their proffered peace?"  
"The only peace worth having is that which has been fought for," said Matsu, clenching his fist. "For Christmas, I've given each and every one of you the greatest gift of all: a purpose! And that purpose is helping me defend the Fictosphere!"  
"Damn right," said Ethan. "We can't let that Moon Whore get her way!"  
"Ach! We're wit'chu, Matsu," agreed the Schmidt Brothers.  
"Agreed," said Darth Vader.  
Ness said, "Okay!"  
"Yes, father. We are with you," said Jon.  
"Always," said Ro-Bo.  
Terrapin, meanwhile, walked back to the cafeteria and got a plate of pizza rolls. He couldn't figure out what Matsu's plan was and wanted to believe that his leader was doing what was right for the Fictosphere. There was still a part of him that couldn't bring himself to believe that this continued fight was the right way of doing things, continuing to fight when peace was an option. As he sat, Raven sat next to him and smiled. He smiled back and decided he'd continue on, for at least a little while. At least he had friends in this life. The moment was interrupted by Matsu bringing out a small boy on crutches.  
"I've also managed to save Tiny Tim during my adventures tonight," explained Matsu. "And I have a special gift for him! He reminds me so much of myself that I'm going to grant him the power to become Chibi Matsu!"  
"God bless us, every one," replied Tiny Tim tearfully as Matsu pressed one muscular digit against his forehead. Suddenly, all of Tiny Tim's infirmities left him and he became the very image of Matsu. No one dared ask when Matsu had found the time to do all this, since he had been accounted for throughout the night. This moment, too, was interrupted by Matsa. She manifested in front of Matsu and Chibi Matsu with a frown.  
"It turns out that the Neo Crystal Empress didn't have the Santas and all that," she said.

Matsu looked away from his newest ally and cocked an eyebrow. "If not her, then who?"

The image of an elderly man replaced Matsu and he immediately recognized him as the first incarnation of the Doctor. The man smiled and said, "Don't worry, Mister Hero. I've taken the liberty of completing your mission for you. Here's a toast, a happy Christmas to all of us."

The usually unflappable Matsu frowned and furrowed his brow. "This isn't over, Doctor."

The Doctor continued, unbothered by the irate demigod before him. He turned to you, the reader, and finished, "And incidentally, a happy Christmas to all of you at home!"

Matsu turned as well. "And a happy holiday to everyone!"


End file.
